Long to Belong

“Well, I was born in a small town in almost-Canada-Idaho (Age 0-2), but I grew up outside of Portland (2-15), but I went to High School in Boise (15-18), then I went to school back in almost-Canada and live there every summer (18-Present), but transferred to school in Florida (19), but also lived in Mexico (19) and Costa Rica (20) and South Africa (21) in between”

I fear and lust for the question “Where are you from?” in the process of meeting and getting to know new people. I ponder every time, whether my longwinded response should be shaved for a more simple answer - but I swim in the sparkle in the eyes of people who are amazed by such a monologue. Though I’m not an “Army Brat,” and my father is not a traveling salesman, the timing of my migrations has not been easy to adjust to. Coupled with my regular characterization as a Wallflower, Black Sheep, and Free Spirit, I’ve been left obsessively confused by what it means to have a ‘Home.’ 

In the process of experiencing such frequent mobility - I taught myself to make home inside people, and landscapes, and fond memories - rather than the Latitude and Longitude reported on a map. But I found myself coming back to the idea of ‘place,’ time and time again, with more and more discomfort. 

In this piece, I depict an undefined person in the fetal position, surrounded by coordinates and beacons of all the places I wonder about calling ‘Home.’ The bold red lines breathe a rigid static into the surroundings of an overwhelmed figure - and the green creates a soundproof screen out of all the places I come from, where I can hide from choosing my place.

#painting #paintbrushes